I knew Asha for five months. In that time, she became one of the closest friends I’ve ever had. It’s a reasonable question to ask just how this was possible in such a short space of time. Those of us who knew Asha well, however, are unlikely to be perplexed. She was one of the most open, honest, accepting, and friendly individuals you could ever hope to meet. Part of this must go down to her family, whom she always spoke of to me with a fondness that just radiated off her. But much still leftover must be attributed to her fascinating character; she was naturally so unassuming, patient, and forgiving.
More than this, she was wise well beyond her years. She was always learning; teaching herself about how to interact with people. Inadvertently, she was also teaching those around her how to live and get on with one another. I most certainly picked up some of her best traits (never enough, mind), which have helped me change the way I approach people, ideas, and even myself. For that, I can never thank her enough. The following snippet of my time with her merits re-telling for how simply it captures the Asha I knew.
My very first meeting with her came on a bus on whichall our course-mates were travelling. There, I spoke with her, just because she smiled in such a way that was effortless—not forced an ounce. In that briefest of moments, much of her character seemed to shine through. Later that day, our class was informed we were to give presentations, preferably in pairs. It was announced, amusingly, that we should find novel ways to sort this out amongst ourselves, despite not knowing each other, and withthe teacher continuing to talk. At this point, I was sat perplexed as to how to engage with my classmates. I’d turned to the person sat next to me to ask if they wanted to present on the philosopher Strawson. They didn’t. So I began to aimlessly shout out the philosopher’s name, hoping invain that someone would enthusiastically pick this up and agree to work with me.
I had no such luck. Then, from across the room, I saw Asha holding up a sign, which said in broad capital letters, ‘AUSTIN’ – the philosopher whom Asha wanted to present on. I was struck right then by how intelligent this approach was. We, a room full of supposedly top-class philosophy students, all shouting aimlessly at each other, getting nowhere – parodying the stereotype of intellectuals so far removed from human reality and the skills it involves. Yet, here was Asha: silent and waiting for someone to respond to her clear, visual message. And so I did. But in the ensuing discussion we had across the room, as to why Austin and not Strawson (who I’d thought far more fun), she explained that we had two essays due the week the Strawson presentation was to be given. There and then, Asha had sold it to me, and revealed everything I needed to know about her: an intelligent forward-planner, and someone totally honest about herself; about, in this instance, how much of procrastinator she knew herself to be. I shared this last quality with her, if nothing else.
Over the next few months, I continually gained from being her friend, and tried to help her as much as she helped me. Given the number of times she would alwaysinsist on feeding me, even unprompted, I could never hope to match her in this regard. But we did havemany long, interesting discussions. Sometimes I would ask why she chose philosophy. She said that she always appreciated clarity; she thought philosophy was a means of getting clear about confusions in the world, and making sure we weren’t talking at cross-purposes to each other. How fitting, then, that no-one who met Asha could be left unsure about her character: it was immediately transparent how clever, thoughtful, responsive, and gifted she was as a person, and in time how loyal she was as a friend.
In Asha we gained such a wonderful human being, and without her we lose a truly positive influence in this world. I do not think we can easily say this of many people, let alone those who pass at such a tenderly young age. Asha, I will never, ever forget you. Thank you for all you taught me and those around me. You are forever in my thoughts.
James x
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